When I move to New York...

When I move to New York...

...
I'm going to be skinny and way more of a bitch.

New Yorker's are going to think I'm the brunette Rainbow Brite. They are going to be like, "Who is this chunky bitch wearing all of these bright colors?"

I'm going to be way more awesome.

I'm going to be an even more pretentious hipster.

I'm going to be way more of a slut.

I'm going to do things alone and not give a fuck.

I'm going to have an awesome apartment.

I'm going to photo-document this whole thing and publish it into a book.

I'm going to be way more of a narcissist.

I'm going to read more.

I'm going to have a smart, cute and nice boyfriend.

I'm going to listen to way more awesome music and go to a lot of shows.

I will be so happy.

I will still love Miami.

I will refer to my chonga slang as Miami vernacular.

I will still say bro.

I will have way more awesome clothes.

I will go to a lot of broadway shows.

I'm going to lay in the park on a beautiful blanket and read books and eat apples.

I will be a famous homeless lady, "There goes the bag lady that smells like rotten apples."

I will work at Starbucks.

At first, I will date a few douches.

I'm going to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge. That's one of the first things that I'm going to do.

I'm going to go to Greenwich Village on Halloween and dress up in an awesome costume.

All of my Halloween's are going to be way more awesome. I'm going to decorate my apartment super spooky.

I will find a guy like Adam Sandler.

I will make sure that my next boo is sexy.

I am going to miss the beach.

My next boyfriend will be adorable.

I will experience way more art.

I get to hang out with my amazing NYC friends like Miss Becky, JoJo, and Luis!

I'm going to eat at Junior's Cheesecake